Woman Paid Her Own Lobola, Now Husband Wants To Marry Someone Else. A 35-year-old woman wrote to a ‘Move!’ expert for advice.
A 35-year-old woman wrote to a ‘Move!’ expert for advice. The woman went on to speak about the issue she has with her husband, who she has been dating for six years. The woman said that after they got to know each other, they moved in together and she then fell pregnant. Her parents demanded that the man pay lobola. The woman knew that that the husband wouldn’t be able to pay for the lobola because of his financial status.
The woman wasn’t able to tell her family that the man didn’t have lobola money. So the woman borrowed him money for the lobola, they had agreed that he will pay her back once he gets a good job. However, once he got a good job the man hasn’t given the woman the money she borrowed him. She went on to say that she has also discovered that the man was having an affair with another lady, who he has paid lobola for. When the 35-year-old woman spoke to him about the situation, the man responded by saying that she can’t tell him what to do with his own money because she was not his wife as she paid for her lobola. A social worker from Benoni, Nthabiseng Madikgetla, says the woman has to have legit proof that she borrowed him money and that he owes her money.
There should be a contract stipulating the terms and conditions that the two of them acknowledged so that she can get her money back. She went on to advice the woman on her relationship. “Challenges are common in relationships and cheating is one of them. However, like any other challenge, the two of you should be willing to work together to mend the relationship and rebuild trust. As much as you love your man, you cannot be the only one showing commitment to the relationship,” says Nthabiseng Madikgetla. The social worker also suggested that the woman goes to counselling to deal with the pain that the man put her through.
by Alexandra Ramaite