Pics: Woman Does Her Own Wedding Photoshoot After Stopping Engagement. This was after she noticed that the man was not the same as he was when they met when she was 16.
Chandley Brelsford, a lady from Nevada in the United States of America, made a hard choice that would help her in the long run. The woman ended her engagement with a high school lover three weeks before they were to wed. This was after she noticed that the man was not the same as he was when they met when she was 16.
She went on to social media to state that their marriage would not be peaceful. “The ma I had fallen in love with was not the man I could call my husband. And it has shaken my character to its very core. The life I so desperately wanted to live with him was never going to exist. Our marriage would not be peaceful, supportive, and loving and it took 4 years for me to realize that this man was not right for me. I chose a man that made me feel special, but he did not make me feel valued,” says the woman.
She went on to state that she ignored the signs because he made her feel special. “When I first took notice of him, I was 16 years old and completely infatuated. For two years, I believed nothing would come of it. But on June 8th, 2015 we went on our first date and I was smitten. I felt like I had been picked out of the crowd; I was the lucky winner of a long sought-after prize. And when red flags began to appear, I wilfully ignored all of them.” The woman had to travel for about three hours per week to where he lived, the man ended up expecting her to do this. She thus also got weekend jobs that were closer to his place than to school.
Shed often do household chores such as cooking for him. She was denied access to friends and she had to always confirm where she was, she also had to confirm who she was chilling with when she was not at school. She states that he would react differently when she wanted to spend a night with her family instead of him.“If I did not answer my phone right away, he would immediately interrogate me. He would become greatly upset if I choose to see my family for a night rather than be with him. When s I wasn’t at school or at work, I was rushing to finish the household duties,” says Chandley Brelsford.
She went on to say that he would deem her as being selfish with her time when he didn’t find dinner ready on time. “If dinner wasn’t ready on time, then it was me being selfish and lazy with my time. I was constantly told I was not doing enough ; that I obviously didn’t care enough if I couldn’t pay attention to these small details,” says Chandley. She did everything to show him that she loved him and how serious she was about their relationship. However, while she was trying to please the man she was sacrificing herself in the process.
“I became so caught up in pleasing him, that I lessened my own wants and desires. When I graduated in 2018, my fate was sealed as I fully moved into the home I had been caring for the past 3 years. His hold on me was even tighter. I was looking forward to having time for friends and family, but that never happened. I was hoping he would be happier now that he had more time with me, but it still was not enough for him. I was housebound even as I continued to work, take classes at the local community and volunteer at the hospital,” says Chandley Brelsford. The man asked for her hand in marriage, which made her quite happy. However, the happiness was for a short while until the emotional assault became more intense.
“So now…the new adventure begins. One that I did not want to face. I wanted to be happily married to the man of my dreams. A part of me still does. But I can’t look back now. I still have goals and apirations; I still want to get accepted into grad school and achieve my dream career. I have to learn to find value in myself now. I have to hold my head high even on the days that I feel my worst. I have the most amazing support system; I literally wouldn’t be here without all of them.” She states that she has been trying to get back on her feet. “I have outbursts of anger and sadness and I am trying to wade through it all with two jobs to put me back on my feet. I have learned what it means to set boundaries and what I cannot tolerate in a relationship. I have grown tremendously from this experience but there is still more growing to do,” says Chandley Brelsford.
On the day that it was supposed to be her wedding day, 8 June, she got into her dress and took photos on her own. She was doing this as a sign of saying that she’ll never put others before herself. She also wrote a message in one picture on her soles. She wrote, “Someday, but not today.”
by Alexandra Ramaite
