I’m a university student, living away from my family and feeling very lonely every time I come back to university after holidays in my hometown. Now, we’d been dating for half a year when I came back from 10 days holiday in my hometown and since then everything began to change. I told him that I was feeling lonely, and it was definitely not the best thing to say to your SO. Then, I was wallowing in sorrow, just as I like doing, being a kind of a “chronically depressed” girl. I feel that I didn’t treat him the way I used to treat him before, and I consider this my biggest mistake: I was selfish. I couldn’t stop thinking of myself and my feelings; I didn’t think about what how he was feeling.
And then in the end he told me that he could no longer try to make me cheerful, happy, content etc and that he felt like he had no right to ask me to be like this. He also told this notorious thing about ‘remaining friends’, but I rejected this right away. Then he said he was sorry and expressed his hope that i would forget him as soon as possible. 4 months have passed, and I still think about him. The problem is, that he has rejected me as his girlfried, but then I rejected him as a friend. (Because I just can’t think of any honest friendship that could be built on the ruins of a relationship.) My feelings have become unbearable lately, so I would like people from outside to take a look at this. My heart says I should apologize, my brain says that it was him who abandoned me and I shouldn’t impose myself on him now and that it’s miserable. I just think that if I were more persistent and firm at that time, if I didn’t let this go its own way, if I did something to change his opinion about me, if I tried to do anything.. it all could turn out for the better, but should I have done it?
I’m a lonely person and I am prone to shy away from such emotionally hard situations as reconstruction of relationships. And I also fear he will not want this and will hurt me greatly once again. Nevertheless, I’m begging for your concern because I can’t judge this situation fairly and objectively anymore.