So I’ve been in a relationship for exactly a year with this girl, except we’ve had to keep our love hidden from her community who aren’t very tolerant of this sort of thing. I’m 23, she’s 25. We started dating in university and what started out as her saying “we won’t make it official for a while, love is crazy” ended up as not being seen together in public in the university except for a few minutes after class maybe, and having to hide the fact that I was dating her and not being able to carry out a normal relationship as you can imagine (movies, generally hanging out etc..)
this has been a source of many fights between us and it has definitely made me insecure, but she always defends her position by saying that her sticking with me is because she loves me and how this is usually unthinkable in her group…. try to put myself in her shoes etc.
We both graduated university at the same time and have moved back to our respective parts of the country, so now it’s a LDR and the insecure voice in my head wanted her to change her facebook status to one that said she was in a relationship with me (I wasn’t thinking rationally at this point, I just wanted it so bad for various reasons I couldn’t understand) but to no avail. she said she’d get a lot of uncomfortable questions from her mum/uncle/brothers etc.
I don’t know where this relationship is going, but she wants to “hold on” and I considered that, but blind rage and feelings of hurt (however whiny) got the better of me and I ended it. we remained out of contact for about 10 days until she finally started texting again. She hasn’t quite said she missed me, but from the fact that she texted and in some ways tried to behave as if nothing had happened it’s clear she did. And why not, I know she cares for me (a bit? that damn insecurity).
The bit that took the cake for me was when I called her to ask if she would even stand next to me in our graduation ceremony since her friends would be there as well, she said that she would stand next to me/talk to me etc since her friends wouldn’t be attending mostly. When i protested that it wasn’t quite what i wanted to hear, she said she wasn’t “the kind of girl to be around me all the time and follow me around” which I thought missed the point completely.
Can somebody help me make sense of all this and advise me on what to do next.